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不如一起有爱情(图文)

我的名字叫沈玫绮,朋友们都简单的叫我玫玫。我是一个很阳光、很健康的女孩。

My name is Shen-Mai-Ji. My friends just call me MEI-MEI. I am a happy girl who is full of life.
  

毕业后,我来到北京,开始了自己的工作和生活。
  
After I graduated, I came to Beijing, began working and started a whole new life.


繁忙的工作让我感觉到了生活的不易,还有就是我一个人在夜晚的寂寞和落寞。

I find that a working life is not easy, and it is also lonely at times, especially when I am alone at night.
  

那是一个周二的上午,办公室来了一个新的同事,她叫方若圆。
  It is a Tuesday morning when a new colleague start at my office. Her name is Fong-Raw-Yuen.
  


方是一个很健谈很有朝气的女孩,对待工作和生活,她无比热情和投入。
  
I find she is a good conversationalist, very lively. She never takes life too seriously, always looking on the positive side of situations.
  

同为异乡客,我们很自然地走到了一起。
  As strangers in Beijing, although we came from different cities, we become close due to the similar situation we are now in.


一个多月的相处,使我注意到她对我朋友般地好,我也开始慢慢喜欢上了她。
  After we have been close friends for a month, I realize Fong is always very nice to me, and I begin to really like having her as my best friend.
  

我开始不自觉地为她做些事情,没有别的奢求,只是愿意对她好,想做她最好的朋友。
  
I want to tread her well as my friend unconditionally.


  
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 楼主| 冬之忆 2004-2-18 13:59 显示全部楼层
周末的时候,我们会骑车看北京的胡同。去爬香山,还在动物园给猴子起外号。
  At weekends we often ride bicycles around the alley ways of Beijing, climb Shi-ang Mountain or even visit the zoo to give the monkeys nick-names.
  



我们把工作处理得井井有条,在单位,我们是相互帮助的好姐妹。
  we work hard in the office, helping each other like sisters,


  
后来,我们一起搬出单位宿舍,在北京海淀区租了一套两居室的楼房。
  We soon left our accommodations provided by work, and rent a 2 bedroom flat in Huai-diam District.


方住在靠阳光的那间,我住在背阳光的那间。我们觉得很温暖。
  Fong’s room faces daylight but mine is always in shadow. However we both feel warmth from our friendship.



 我们在客厅里看电视,写文字,还常常上网和朋友们聊天。
  We often write our thoughts down, watch TV or chat to others on the internet.



最幸福的是晚上下班,我们一起去超市买蔬菜和食品。
  Our happiest moment of the day would be after work when we go to the super market to buy things for tea.

  

我喜欢吃芹菜腐竹,方喜欢吃小鸡炖蘑菇。我们两个人一般要做3个或者4个菜。
  I know Fong would like to eat different food from me, so we often cook 3 or 4 dishes for dinner.
  



方的英语都过了6级,而我却还停留在初级的水平。她就找时间给我补习单词和口语。
  My English is very basic, but she has passed level 6, so I could practice my English with her.


隔壁门口经常放着一双球鞋,门永远是关的,只是经常在夜里听到梁静茹的《勇气》:只要你一个眼神肯定,我的爱就有意义……
  Our neighbor’s door is always closed, with a pair of trainers outside. We hear the music from the room, which is sang by a famous pop star, the lyrics described a love story.


  
感情就是这样,说不出原因。我和方互相喜欢,愿意在一起。
  I and Fong think that the song describes the emotions we both feel, but there is no reason for us to feel that way.






 
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 楼主| 冬之忆 2004-2-18 14:08 显示全部楼层
我们终究没有逃开感情的网,虽然明知没有结果。
  We can not deny our mutual attraction any more, but we know nothing would come of it.




仿佛世间只有我们两个,幸福地过着属于我们俩的日子。
  The happiness is ours and it feel like the world belonged to us.



  
方要考研究生,她说那一直是她的一个梦想。我劝她不要上班了,在家里专心复习。
  Fong’s dream is to take the ‘Master course’, I persuade her to quit work and follow her dream.


方就真的不再上班了,在家里看书。我每天下班她都做好了晚饭等我。
  She stays at home each day studying and preparing food for when I get home from work.
  


有天快下班的时候,方约我晚上去吃酸汤鱼。饭后她送我一只可爱的小熊,我才知道今天是我的生日。
  One day after work, Fong ask me to have dinner outside. After dinner she gives me a nice teddy bear and I realize it is my birthday today.
  


因有了方的关心,让我觉得这个大都市是我的。我抱住她流着自己的眼泪。
  Because I feel so secure in her presence, I hug her and cry. I feel the whole city belonged to me.
  


晚上睡觉我都抱着小熊,我知道,我已经找到了归属的感觉。
  Every night when I cuddle the teddy bear, I feel that I have found the place where I belong.
  


方的妈妈来北京了。吃着从家乡给我们带来的咸水鸭想起了我的妈妈,我笑笑也管方妈妈叫妈妈。
  Fong’s Mother come to visit us in Beijing, she bring some traditional food from their hometown. She reminds me of my Mum. I even begin to call her ‘Mum’.
  



方妈妈给我讲了很多方的童年趣事,方小的时候和我一样,也玩过过家家游戏。
  Her Mum tells me lots of interesting stories about when Fong was younger. She would play ‘house’ just like I used to.
  


方妈妈就这一个宝贝女儿,她希望方早点结婚成家,她好来抱外孙。我和方相视一笑,都低下了头。
  Fong is the only child in her family. Her Mum wants her to marry earlier, so she could be able to see her grandchildren. Been hearing this, we express each other with a smile, and just look at the floor.
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 楼主| 冬之忆 2004-2-18 14:15 显示全部楼层
其实很多时候我也在想,我和方的感情到底是什么?
  We do not know what our feeling for each other really is.




方妈妈走后,我问方,我们这样会有结果吗?我们刚刚开始,还是分开吧。
  After Fong’s Mum left, I suggest that we should split apart because I am not sure about our future.




门里门外,我们俩都泣不成声。
  We stand either side of the door crying heavily.



我没有告诉方,周一上班的时候我带了很多的衣服,我准备回公司去住。
  I take my belongings back to work on the following Monday, and plan to stay at the arranged accommodation, without telling Fong.
  


夜晚还是来了。我想方,辗转反侧。
  The night finally comes, but I can not sleep. I am tossing and turning on the bed, thinking about Fong.



我决定给方打电话。在号码还没有拨完的时候,我收到了方发来的短信:玫玫,回来吧,我想你~-~。
  I decide to call Fong, but receive a text message form her as I was dialing. It said that she miss me and ask me to come back to hers.





我擦下眼泪拿起包就往外跑,全然不顾同事的劝阻和莫名的表情。
  I grab my clothes and things and run out the office. My colleagues try to stop me from going, but I ignore their confused expressions and leave.
 

 
道理我们都明白,但感情却是实实在在的。
  We know it won’t be accepted, but our feeling is too strong



我的英语进步很快,方说是因为我聪明。我打她一下说,那当然了。
  Fong say my English really improved because I am very clever. I laugh and playfully tap her.
  


打开日记本,这里面装的都是我和方的昨天。我认真记录着今天,也憧憬着我们的明天。
  Looking at my journal, I read the past time shared between us, and write what I feel now, and ponder our future.
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 楼主| 冬之忆 2004-2-18 14:21 显示全部楼层
天冷了。冬天还是来了。
  The weather is getting colder as winter draws closer.




方是南方人,我怕她承受不了北京冬天的冷,去商场买了毛线,我要织件毛衣给她穿。
  Fong is from southern China, so I worry that the weather in Beijing will be too cold for her. I go to buy wool to knit her a jumper.




最近单位老是加班,回到家都很晚了。每次进家总是方在看书,饭桌上放着做好的饭菜。我的心里有种莫名的感动。
  Recently, I work at lot of OT, so I get home late, but I find Fong is studying and the food is ready. I fall touch by this.


  

毛衣织好了。方穿在身上高兴得什么似的,不停地照着镜子。
  I finish the jumper for Fong. She is very happy and wears it in front of the mirror.


有天夜里我醒来,走到方的屋子,她睡着的姿势完全像个孩子,我轻轻地吻了一下她的额,我突然觉得,我们俩是那么的平凡和幸福啊。
  At midnight one night I awake, and go into Fong’s room. She is sleeping like a baby; I kiss her forehead and realized how happy we are.



今天晚上有流星雨。我站在楼顶看流星,我想让流星等一等,我要许个愿,可是等一等就什么也看不见了。
  At night there is a meteor shower. I stand at the top of the building to watch them, I hope the shooting stars could continue long enough for me to make a wish, but they never stop.





方来接我下班,雨伞下我搂着她的肩膀。看着路边行人望过来的目光,我赶紧松开了手。
  Fong pick me up from work. I get under her umbrella ant put my arm around her. When I see people’s reactions to this, I put my arm back down.





方考上了研究生,真为她高兴。周末我拉着她一起去逛街。
  We find out that Fong have got on to the ‘master course’. I am very proud and happy for her. We go shopping together at the weekend to celebrate.
  


夏天真好,蝉儿欢跃,街上到处都是漂亮的男生和女生。
  The summer is come, and the cicada bug’s are singing loudly. The streets are filled with good looking boys and girls.


方经常给我讲她在学校的故事,还有排队去食堂打饭和有个连普通话都说不好的同学。
  Fong tell me funny stories about her friends in university, who she chat in the canteen with. Some of them have strong regional accents, even sometimes she can not understand them.
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 楼主| 冬之忆 2004-2-18 14:31 显示全部楼层
上楼时看见一个男生手里拿个篮球匆匆忙忙地往下跑。我打开房门,方还没有回来。
  One day, when I go into our apartment, I see a boy past me in the opposite direction carrying a basketball. I soon find that Fong is not in.




方最近总是回来很晚。我边看电视边收拾房间。
  Often lately, Fong has been coming home late. I have the television on while I tidy up.




慢慢地我发现,方说话的时候经常提到广这个名字。
  After a few days I realize Fong have mentioned a boy called Gu-ang several times.
  




广是她们学校别的系的研究生,人很好。方说这话看我的时候,眼神有点游离。
  Gu-ang is in a different department of Fong in university, he is always nice to people. When Fong talk about him, she avoids eye contact with me.
  



我披件衣服在自己身上,我觉得有点冷,心里。
  Even though I throw on the clothes, I still felt cold in my heart.
  


  
今年的苹果不甜。望着远处的香山,叶子应该还没有红吧。
  This year’s apples do not taste as good. I look into the distance at the red leaves on Shi-ang mountain should not be that colour yet
  


去学校看方,她和几个同学在操场上打羽毛球,还有个男生,我想就是广吧。
  I visit Fong at her university and see her playing badminton with her friends. She is also whit a boy. I realize he must be Gu-ang.
  



傍晚,我和方去肯德基吃东西。
  I and Fong go to KFC for dinner in the evening.
  


我讲着未来也说些过去。方望过来的目光,让我假装自己做了个深呼吸。
  We discuss the past and the future of us, she seems different from before, and this make me feel cold inside.
  


眼前的方模糊与清晰并存。模糊的是身影,清晰的是感觉。
  I can not see Fong clearly, but her coldness towards me is easy to see




我煮好她喜欢吃的小鸡炖蘑菇。我们专心地吃,没有一句对话。其实,这菜的盐放多了,非常咸,可我们却吃得干干净净。
  I cook her favorite food. We ate without talking. Actually, I put too much salt in, but we still eat it all.
  



夜晚是美丽伤感的。天黑黑,心灰灰。
  The night is beautiful but sad. It is black, but my heart feels darker.
  



头很疼。睁开眼,一个大男孩望着我,手里拿条白色毛巾。隐约听到有歌声传来:只要你一个眼神肯定,我的爱就有意义……
  My head aches. When I open my eyes and see a boy looking at me, holding a white towel. I can hear the love song faintly, which is the one I have heard from my neighbor’s room before.
  




男孩扶我回家的时候,方和广在打电话找我。
  The boy helps me to get home, while Fong and Gu-ang are trying to contact me.


秋天的末尾,天依然湛蓝,阳光温暖。
  The weather is sunny and the sky is very bole. It is still very warm.
  



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 楼主| 冬之忆 2004-2-18 14:33 显示全部楼层
8好意思。。是写女同性恋的。。斑竹如果觉得那个。。可以删了。。。
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 楼主| 冬之忆 2004-2-18 14:39 显示全部楼层
不过结局我很喜欢。。自然又清淡。。。
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好!不错啊
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不删!我喜欢这种风格的画。

学习学习
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