本帖最后由 水潭 于 2012-2-27 06:04 编辑
征文被天健审核了,贴个英文小作文先代替吧,茄子负责挑出至少2处毛病;P。
姑娘的英语课外班期末考试了,下面是考试时写的作文,请高手给挑挑毛病,修改一下。 An exciting day! (40 ------- 60 words 要求字迹美观、语法严谨,内容紧凑,逻辑感好) “Today is NewYear’s Eve!” I said to my sister happily. “Parents and Grandparents will give us money!” My sister said happily too. “Oh, What’s that?” I found a redbag on the table, and asked to my sister. “Let’s open it!” My sister was excited. Then,we opened it, and found so muchmoney. “Now, they are yours.” My father said suddenly. “Oh, great!” We are verypleased. What an exciting day! 我的批改: red bag
似应写成 red parcel 或者 red envelope。 so much money 似应写成 lot of money in it. We are very pleased 似乎也不太好,但写成excited 与前面重复,写成very very happy也过于平淡,没想好咋改。 |