本帖最后由 水潭 于 2011-12-15 08:42 编辑
再帖一篇英语小作文
昨晚晚归,不知小女作业情况,今晨起,翻看小女的作业,见数学计算依然如故,10道计算又错3道。慢慢来吧。
继续翻看小女英文,又见一篇新的小作文,读之,心情悦。 心情悦在这个小文内容简单,读来朗朗上口,相信小女写的也不累,而且写的过程心情也很愉悦,能在作业中得片刻爽心,满足。
无题目
I have a good friend,he's a monkey, and people call it Lulu. He is very smart and lovely, he is from Sichuan, and he is Chinese. He really likes fruits------ ofcause, for eating. He often jumps and climbs trees, it's his favourite sports. We have lots of happy time, it makes me forget all the sad time. I think our friendship will never end!
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老师的评语: 8分 A 结尾有点长。
老爸的点评:老师的一句“结尾有点长”非常好, 这是一个小记叙文,确实应该删除结尾的废话,多加一句小猴子的描写更好。 姑娘很省事,直接删除结尾红字的一句话。 这句话也提醒我姑娘的大作文也抒情过多,当提醒她:不可主次不分,无病呻吟。
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